Endless Possibilities

Another month has passed and my pen is a little rusty. I feel like I haven't written in ages, but I have been otherwise occupied: setting up house. As much as I looked forward to having my own home (9 years in the making) I didn't realize so many projects lay ahead of me. Thankfully, we've had in our budget the ability to hire a painter. I'd probably still be sleeping in the guest room if I was in charge of painting which would have been really awkward when my parents came to stay. At this point in time, all the rooms have a purpose and direction. The husband has his office for the tortuous week he is on-call, although the guest room isn't painted yet, I have a design scheme in mind, our bedroom makes me happy every time I walk in, the kitchen just screams vintage eclectic (I'm screaming too) the living room exudes relaxation with a pop of excitement, the loft will play a key role in creativity as well as organization (my personal office space), and the little man has a mostly functioning bedroom and dresser situation. We bought a dresser for our son at a thrift store and immediately started brainstorming on how we could re-imagine it to fit our needs. However it is still presently in the entry way until we get it painted. (So many projects!) I haven't clawed out my eyes or pulled out my hair (yet) because I haven't gone anywhere in three days. I knew that home ownership would change me. If I waited three days to go anywhere if I was still living in the rental, I would be blind and bald.

I like being home. I am grateful that I get to be a SAHM especially in this economy. I love that I get to spend time with my son and teach him what an anemone is while watching Finding Nemo. I like looking out my kitchen window and seeing the mountains. And once we get around to it, I'll like my backyard too.



Pictures soon to come!

~Lady Jane

Lady Jane: Zero, Parenting: Won

8 June 2012

Well, parenting certainly won that round today. I am near my wits end trying to nourish my son. The only thing he consumes without hesitation is milk, yogurt, bread, and bananas. If I try to mix bananas into his yogurt, forget about it. He will try a bite of other foods and will immediately spit it out. I did get him to each some pureed sweet potatoes, so that was a success. I think it's a texture issue with him. But it's driving me insane! I started introducing gummy vitamins so that I could at least feel good about making sure he got them in another source, but every time I give him the vitamins he asks for fruit snacks. I'm not worried that he isn't healthy, he is quite the little muscle man. Perhaps I'm overcomplicating the matter; I know what foods I like and the ones I don't and I could literally eat cereal every morning for breakfast because it's quick and easy and F is my kid after all. Maybe he's just trying to tell me in his limited vocabulary that a variety of foods isn't for him (at least not yet). I doubt I'll have a long respite during F's nap time since he's so incredibly stubborn that all he ate was a piece of bread for lunch. I offered him one teddy graham for each bite of parfait he ate, but this little stinker wouldn't even dane to try it.

~Lady Jane

Back in 43,200 Minutes

We are officially moving! So I will be on hiatus for a month. Feel free to poke around and explore. Try some Goldberg writing practices if you feel so inclined. I hope you have a wonderful month! See you later.

~Lady Jane

Goldberg Nugget #6

Give me your morning

23 May 2012

I drifted in and out of consciousness as I heard the syncopation of the rain emanating from my iPod dock, awake just long enough to reach the snooze button for another glorious nine minutes of "sleep". As I tried to hold on to slumber, it slipped further and further away as I heard my husband cross the floor from the bathroom to his closet, turning the fan on a faster setting as he passed. "Drying off," I thought. I guess the rain was a little of the shower head too. I pulled the pillow sham from between my legs and propped myself against it as I checked on the boy from the video monitor. My drowsy hand searched for my glasses on the nightstand and discovered them exactly where I had left them the night before.

Even though the boy was mostly awake singing to himself, I figured I would have time to relieve myself and dress for the day. I softly closed my bedroom door behind me so as not to make a sound in the hope that I could take care of preparing the morning bottle. I trudged into the kitchen, flipping on the middle switch from the hallway. The light from the refrigerator brightened the kitchen by another 40 watts. I plucked the 8 ounce bottle from the shelf on the door, the gallon jug and proceeded to the microwave. Falling like a silk scarf, the white liquid gathered itself to the highest tick mark on the side of the bottle. I watched the bottle dance by itself as it heated in the microwave (or as I affectionately refer, a godsend). One last check on the boy on the monitor as I walk down the hall. I listen to the knob screech in excitement, echoing the happy shrills from my little man.

(6-7 months old)

Wishful Thinking

I wish...

I had the motivation to actually adapt a book into a screenplay and become the next Diablo Cody, although I realize the story of Juno was of her own imagination.

everyone could have what they needed and a few of the things that they desperately want.

I knew what the next five years would bring. 

I could just learn how to appreciate myself instead of constantly finding faults.

sensorineural hearing loss wasn't a part of my vocabulary.

I knew how to let go.

What do you wish for?

~Lady Jane

Adaptations

I figured that since the boy is occupied with toys and his beloved cartoon characters I would take a minute and express my excitement for a movie that has long been striving to appear on the silver screen: Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. My husband loved the book as a kid, he says it has something to do with validation of being a genius kid. *Cough* Anyway, I read the book a few summers ago and really enjoyed it.

As far as I know, Card has wanted Ender's Game on the big screen for so long that Haley Joel Osment was considered for the role of Ender.

That's out of the question now. He could have been perfect! But imagine all of the special effects that could be done NOW! 

According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ender's_Game_(film) the kid from Hugo (Asa Butterfield) will be playing the role of Ender. I'm so excited to read who is playing what part, that I want to read the book all over again. Guess that means I've accepted the fact that my family won't be moving anytime soon so I better get to unpacking our books.

I know what you must be thinking, aren't I a reading enthusiast? Why would I pack my books away first?

What book would you like see turned into a movie? Perish the thought, but I think some books would have been better watched than read. Like any of the boring books that I had to read in high school and they were all about boys! What's up with that?!

In case you are a little like me and have dreamed about writing your own screenplay, I found a couple of sites that could come in handy.
http://www.writersstore.com/how-to-write-a-screenplay-a-guide-to-scriptwriting
http://www.simplyscripts.com/

Happy writing!

~Lady Jane

On the Brain

I think my brain is empty. I've had so many things on my mind lately that I don't even know what to post at the moment. BAM! It just hit me. I could talk about my upcoming tea party I'm planning for my 28th birthday with my two cousins and their cousin from their mom's side and my good friend Danny.

Why tea party? Because they're fun. I'm hoping to recreate as much as I can remember about my 8th birthday tea party. I know that we wore Sunday dresses, costume jewelry, hats and faux fur shawls. And we felt like princesses. At least I did. My other aunt was generous enough to send down her collection of hats, jewelry and faux furs that I'm hoping she might let me borrow what she has left.

I am beyond looking forward to this! A couple of years ago, I had mentioned this idea to the original party guests and they all said they were excited to do it again for my 28th. I was worried when one of my cousins moved out of the country, but was immediately relieved when I found out she was coming for a visit. Who cares if it's not on my actual birthday, I'm just glad the original group (plus Danny) will all be here to join in on the fun. So stayed tuned for some fabulous how-tos from me about pulling off a smashing tea party!

Also on the horizon: I love to sing, so I'm going to work on my craft this summer by joining a choir. I'm stoked!

What do you have planned for the summer?

~ Lady Jane

My Son

As Mother's Day approaches I reflect on the little miracle that made me a mom. I love my little boy and I thank Heaven that he came to me! Ever since he was born I felt like I was taking on a huge challenge to raise one amazing little man. Having received my Bachelors degree in teaching before F was born, I thought of all the wonderful things I could teach him as he grew. Little did I know, he has taught me more than I ever thought possible.

Minutes old

Days old

Month old

Six months old

He has taught me to love. I love him beyond description. When I found out that I was pregnant, people asked me "If you could choose the gender, what would you have?" Every time I replied, "Boy!" I don't know why even but as soon as we found out that little F was going to join our family, I felt blessed. I was going to raise a son of God and teach him how to be a good man like his daddy.

He has taught me to reflect. Because of him, I have appreciated the sound of a bird chirping and leaves blowing in the wind and the rain. All these things are new to this little person and he is helping me remember these simple pleasures.

He has taught me to be patient. There are those days, that every parent has, where fuses are short but they lengthen over time because my son reminds me what is really important. So what if we're a little late for an appointment somewhere because he wanted to learn how to climb into his car seat? So what if we don't make it to the grocery store today if we get to nurture our relationship by playing cars? 

He has taught me to be consistent. Children, especially mine like structure and consistency, once we created a bedtime routine, within days he was reminding us what came next. I have learned that when I give him a heads up on what's coming next, he transitions to the next activity (or naptime) almost seamlessly. 

One Year!

Eighteen months

Two years!

I am grateful beyond words (but I'll try to find them) that I have been with my little man for two years! Four weeks after his birth I got a blood clot in my leg. I didn't realize how life threatening a blood clot was at the time. I just kept thinking about how much I missed my sweet husband and my precious newborn. I wanted to get out of that hospital bed and go home to be with my family. I couldn't even feel like I was with him by sending home breast milk. I was on a cocktail of different medications and painkillers throughout my stay at the hospital that I couldn't even pump. That alone was disheartening. After my thrombectomy (blood clot removal) procedure I recuperated at my parents' house. I couldn't walk without the assistance of a walker, so midnight feedings were taken over by the hubs or my mother. I have been a mother two years now and plan on being one forever! I have enjoyed it too much.

And most importantly, I owe my life to my mother! Even after having the perfect Brady Bunch family, she didn't feel like her family was complete until I came along (that sounds really egocentric). What I'm trying to say is, "Thanks mom, for wanting me!"

June 2007

I hope you mothers out there enjoy your day!

~ Lady Jane

A Lot Can Change in a Matter of Hours

Have you been enjoying the roller coaster ride as much as we have? Like I said before, I should have learned my lesson seven years ago to never work with HUD. They weren't willing to negotiate the price or allow us to get another appraisal completed. Just a bunch of back and forth, "We sent it to you," "Well we didn't get it" so we walked away. It certainly wasn't worth the headache and motion-sickness anymore.

As much as I liked the layout of the house, it was definitely built in the 90s; weird niches for giant televisions gone extinct, outdated floor plans and not enough storage. The one thing that I will miss, is the backyard. I loved that backyard! I could imagine little F playing on his newly acquired plastic jungle gym/slide and walking in and out of the playhouse, while I happily watched him, washing dishes at the kitchen sink. There is another house out there for us, that will be the right one. I have to stay positive and motivated because there is no way I'm staying in this rental until I'm 30! Not gonna happen!

We'll keep looking (I've already found a couple strong contenders) and make plans to go look at some more. But past me has to convince future me not to get too excited about anything until I've weighed all the options. Who knew that making a Pro/Con list would help? I'm a believer!

Third Time Wasn't The Charm

Looks like we'll be putting the home buying process to rest for the foreseeable future. I'm really glad that I haven't told a lot of people about this considering that we were within days of a 30 day closing date and we had to walk away. I should have learned my lesson back in 2005; never, ever try and buy a house from HUD if you're a family. Maybe an investor can come up with $14K cash to bring to the table if he bid too high and the house's worth is too low, but I've never had $14K in my life! That's essentially what happened. HUD does not negotiate and the appraisal company is crap; using outdated and irrelevant information for the comps of other homes in the same neighborhood.

I wish I could verbally lash the appraiser who single-handedly screwed up our chances of purchasing this home. I am beyond livid. All the stress that we've been dealing with that poor F has felt the effects of were for nothing? We were supposed to hear back from our lender on 4/25 if the appraisal management company overlooked the shoddy job the appraiser had done, but we found out on that day, that nothing had been done! So the week that we were sitting on pins and needles waiting for an updated appraisal of the house, was AGAIN for nothing? I'm so tempted to get rid of everyone that has been involved in this process with us, our realtor, our lender. If I were our lender working with a terrible appraisal management company, I'd tell my superiors.

And that was what I was going to say last week about the house. Here's what I'm saying this week about the house: There's a chance we may still be moving in the next few weeks. I know! I didn't think it was possible either. My realtor was fuming at the prospect that the house would simply go back on the market, somebody else would bid, work with a completely different appraisal company and get the house, that he and our lender hatched a plan to pull their money together to get a third appraisal done on the home! Hubby and I would still have to cover the cost of turning on the utilities for the appraisal, but we're willing to risk $100 bucks if it means we might get the house. We weren't so sure to gamble $500, there are other homes out there. Granted, not as many in a good market, but there are others. The nice part about all of this is, if it doesn't go through, we were already in a position to walk away, however the confidence that our realtor has about the home's worth is enough for me.

I still feel the same about the appraiser and the first appraisal process. Just so we're all clear.

Looks like taking my own advice was harder than I had anticipated. Would you be able to stay positive? It's been pretty difficult.

~ Lady Jane

P.S. I hope your last few weeks have been a lot happier and less dramatic/emotional than mine. I will be so glad when all of this is over!

Deadlines

I missed my own deadline again! Check back next week for my new post. It's been a crazy week!

~ Lady Jane

My Thoughts Exactly

Frustrated, flustered, flabbergasted and furious doesn't even begin to describe my current state of emotions! On Tuesday, we got some disheartening news about the purchase of our house. We've been waiting on the appraisal for a lot longer than we were told and were finally given the bad news. The appraisal came in lower than our bid and because we're working with HUD they won't allow us to lower our offer. Apparently they like having too many houses in their inventory. Who knew? Our realtor and lender were both furious about the news as much as the hubs and I were. Bottom line, the appraiser was incompetent using outdated information to figure the worth of the house. The inspection came back with better news than this!

It's hard to keep a well-rounded perspective about this process. I realize that this might not be the right house for us, but up until this point, everything seemed golden. And I thought I was doing a good job by not counting my chickens before they hatched.

In other, happier news I am an incredibly blessed woman for the husband and son I get to spend my life with!

Complexity is My Middle Name

I decided it was about time to get back to my original purpose for this blog and considering all of the events going on in my life that I cannot change, becoming a better writer is one thing I have control over.

"Where do you come from, who are you, what makes you?" One of the best questions posed by Goldberg to help the budding writer within.

The most obvious answer would be to expound upon my upbringing (which I have done a lot of) mention the skills/talents I have and hobbies I enjoy. BORING! So I will try and make it a little less boring.

I come from seekers and believers:

Not too long ago, I filled out a Mormon.org profile and one of the questions I answered was why I was Mormon. I think it's because my family is. It's in my blood. My 3x great grandfather was the first to become a Mormon, he sought after truth and believed. I owe him immensely for the knowledge I have because he looked for answers to his questions.

I come from music:

My grandmother is an amazing pianist! She lived next to me for nineteen years and when I say next to me I mean next to. I could get to her house through our garage. So I would often drop by and listen to her play the piano. Two of my older sisters also played the piano; music filled our house often and sometimes to the dismay of anyone in the house wanting to watch t.v.

I come from laughter:

My dad has the wackiest sense of humor, which I luckily possess a little bit of. He claims it was his mother's father that passed it down to him. I love to hear the laughter of my family and I get to hear it a lot.

I am Cowardice/Heroism/Peace/Contention/Love/Self-Loathing:

I am a complex woman. I am sometimes too afraid to confront a problem and other times, a raging bull out of the gate. I just wish I knew how to be bull when I'm a lamb. And with that cowardice and heroism, I am a blend of peace and contention. I don't like contention, avoid it at all costs and when I should be a peacemaker, I'm too afraid to mediate. I am freely giving of compliments, but not to myself, afraid of becoming narcissistic or egocentric. I'm also noticing a pattern here. Do you see it? I think my cowardly side trumps my heroic side by a long shot!

So, "where do you come from, who are you, what makes you?"

~ Lady Jane

Another Week Down

I feel that the only thing keeping me from going insane is this special little blog where I can come to voice my frustrations, elations and all in between.

I just called a couple doctors' offices to postpone appointments so as to save as much money as possible for the purchasing of our very first home! Did I tell you that? That the hubs and I are working on getting our first home? It's a nerve-wracking process to say the least and yet I'm surprisingly calm about it. We took another walk-through on Tuesday and I feel even more excited and correct that this is the right house for us. I just pray that there are very few hiccups as possible. HUD is infamous for hiccuping, A LOT! However, this process has been moving along at a steady pace, a VERY good sign.

I'm a "sign" person. I look for extraordinary occurrences amongst the mundane. So while we were at the house, I was carrying F's diaper bag out to the car when I noticed a potential neighbor a couple doors down, he said hello and asked if we were moving in. I excitedly called back to him, "We're hoping!" He then replied something to the effect of if we moved in that they would have to bring us over some cookies. He seemed pleased that somebody might be moving in. I'm not sure how long the house has been vacant, but I know I'd be pleased to have someone move in that would take care of the house. That was a sign; a little bit of an extraordinary exchange amongst potential neighbors that I don't believe happens as much in a garage community.

One of the nice things about this property is how boring it is, so ANY thing we do to it, will be an improvement! All that's left is the appraisal and inspection. I'm biting my nails here and I NEVER do that! I pride myself on having long, pretty nails even though I am a pianist. Call me crazy, but I like the click of my nails against the keys, the same way a guitarists fingers slide on the fret like a screeching nylon stocking.

And F wants to know...

Have you read any good books for kids, about kids lately?

Have a happy day!