Potty Training

...that's why I've been M.I.A.


This is probably the last post you'd expect from me. Who am I kidding, I'm a mom and never pretended this blog to be anything but a sound stage for all my thoughts, maternal and otherwise.

I don't know if it was talking with other moms or what, but last Monday, I decided to start potty training the boy for real! I think the reason why I waited so long (the boy turned 3 in March) was because I wasn't ready yet. So here are some things I learned while potty training my boy.

1. The parent needs to be more ready than the kid (in a manner of speaking). I think I had to come to the realization that I would have messes to clean or give up making trips longer than an hour out of the house to the store.

2. If you've got the resource of your parent or a friend who's had more than 3 kids to get advice from, DO IT! As I've mentioned before, I'm the youngest of seven, so my mom has probably seen every scenario when it came to potty training.

3. Praise is very important!

4. Find out what makes your child happy. Whether it's treats, stickers, little trinkets (no need to go overboard) something that will make the experience of using the potty a more enjoyable experience.

All of this advice could easily be found in any parenting magazine, but I thought it was funny when my friend asked what medium I was using to potty train and all I said was, "Mom." This lady I call mom has been a huge lifesaver. I can't imagine trying to do this without her sage wisdom; after all the kids she's had, I think she deserves the credit.

Hostess Without

I like parties. I love meeting and talking to people but there's a reason I still haven't held a housewarming party and we've been here for 9 months and 23 days. I crumble under the pressure of being responsible for other people's happiness. Maybe that's why the boy is so bored now that he can walk, talk and basically have other little toddler friends.

I found an old notebook where I planned a pretty cute 2nd birthday for the boy a year ago and to be honest, if someone else had been in charge of carrying out my vision, it would have been an adorable party. He was obsessed with Toy Story at the time and so I thought it would be fitting to have star-shaped cantaloupe, cool ranch and barbecue chips with the appropriate quote from the first film, Teddy Grahams and strawberry frosting for Lotso Huggin' Bear, and other themed food. Sounds cute right? I hope. We did half the stuff that I mentioned and we didn't even really decorate.

So for the boy's 3rd birthday, I kept it really low-key. I mean really low, like two octaves below middle C. We invited our dear friends and their sweet little girl and my parents for a barbecue. I even asked our guests not to bring the boy any more toys (he has plenty to play with and I'm starting to wonder where to store all of it in an orderly manner). I love that the boy was born in March, it is so beautiful in AZ. There was a lovely breeze that allowed us to open the windows and doors and breathe in the fresh spring air. I knew this was the last year I could pull this off, so I did the least amount of work possible.

I think the reason why I feel so pressured to do something amazing for the boy's birthdays is the recent invention of Pinterest. It's an amazing site for all things, house and pretty much life related, but I wonder how many people actually pull off the parties that have been planned by SAHM, not a professional.

And one more for good measure...

Stay tuned for my thoughts on personality types :)

~Lady Jane

Blogging

Do you ever feel like everyone else has their life figured out? That you're the only scrambling to find something to create, produce that is totally and completely yours? I have a friend, Danny, who has always had her act together. I met her back in 2005 in an English/History humanities course at the local community college. She had just graduated high school, myself out of it for the past three years. She knew what courses she had to take to get her associates degree banged out in exactly two years with an impeccable grade point average to boot. I, at only a mere 21 was completely speechless at this independent, go-getter, hippie 18 year-old. It's because of her that I even finished going to college, not only because she pushed me and encouraged me along the way, but I'm a bit competitive too...(with myself).

Now, she has a very successful craft, sewing, cooking blog along with a precious daughter and doting husband to take of. I've never actually asked her how many hours of sleep she gets at night. Those determined types must survive on something else other than food, water, and sleep. I bet it's some secret elixir that only inductees into the "It Must Get Done At Any Cost" club get after strenuous tests to prove their eligibility. I'm still applying.

At the risk of sounding like a bitter, jealous teenager I'm actually very proud of Danny for all that she accomplishes and still looks great doing it!

I love you Danny and thanks for keeping me in check.

~Lady Jane

p.s. you seriously should check out her blog though, it's amazing!

http://mommyforreals.blogspot.com

I Knew I Could Do It

I love it when I figure things out. Since having F I've felt like, at times, my brain doesn't operate at 100% like it used to. For the longest time I couldn't update my pages (have you even looked at those? Yes, those tabs at the top of the page for the curious eye) and it was driving me nuts! Do you want to know the problem, I had been able to post under another email login but I couldn't really change anything about my blog (especially the stuff that I wanted to change). I figured out I needed to name my other login an admin too. * SIGH *  That feels so much better!

But on another note, I feel like my life is going to become very stressful in the very near future. I'm going to have to learn how to really prioritize my time. I recently accepted an offer to be a vocal coach for a performing arts group. Yes, I sing too.

A couple of pros:
I'm getting paid!
It's in the afternoon so it shouldn't interfere too much with the home life
I'll be improving on my skills as a singer as well as my teaching skills
I get to do something fun

And the cons:
I have to hire a babysitter for the time I start until hubs gets home
My time won't always be my own
I'll miss F's bedtime twice a week

So now I have the wonderful task of trying to figure out how to do the mom thing, wife thing, and career woman thing.

Hopefully by the semester's end I will be saying...I knew I could do it.

~Lady Jane

Lesson Learned

One of the weirdest phrases I heard in my writing class was, "creative nonfiction." What does that even mean? I was at a loss for words. I had no idea how I supposed to get creative without being false or bending the truth. Had I been a reader of Real Simple magazine when taking the class, I would have known exactly what my professor meant. In each issue they have a section called "Life Lessons". I learn the strangest, saddest, and sometimes simple things when I read that section. This is creative nonfiction. These writers just seem to know how to paint a story without brushing over the truth.

So here goes, if I were to actually submit a piece for an essay contest about understanding the meaning of love it might go something like this:

My mother always used to say that I would never understand how much she loved me until I had a child of my own. There's no way that could be true. There were so many ways that my mother showed me love: supporting my talents by attending choir concerts, always being a listening ear, staying up with me to finish that forgotten term paper, always finding time to teach me valuable life lessons as she transitioned into grandmother-hood while I was still only eight. As I grew up with a matriarch overflowing with positive words and love, I never thought it would take me until I had my first child that I would truly understand. As I groggily woke up to feed my crying baby, carefully prepared his food, happily changed his diaper or enjoyed his coos and giggles I was reminded of all the loving attention given to me by my own mother as her youngest.

Due to medical complications, I didn't get to spend an entire week with my newborn and had to leave my son in the care of my mother. She was much older now, and physically less prepared to repeat the routine of a newborn baby. I ached to be out of my hospital bed and be home with my husband and son, but I knew that my son was more than competently cared for, perhaps even more so than by a brand new mommy like me. I knew that my son would be loved and given the attention that I would have given him myself.

My mom with my son

When I was finally discharged from the hospital, I still couldn't hold my son and walk at the same time thus the nighttime responsibilities again fell to my mother. It was after I had regained strength in my leg that I profusely thanked my mom for caring for my boy. She gushed about how much she loved being up with him in the middle of the night and not being sore or too tired (like having her own seven children felt). What I imagine she was trying to say, "You won't understand how much I love you until you have a child of your own." I wouldn't have done any different had it been my grown son and his family in need of service and I an older woman in her latter years. She managed to show me how much she could love her grandson and through this selfless act, I know what unconditional love truly is.

So mom, if you happen to read this I love you for all that you have ever done and still do for me!

~Lady Jane

Lady Jane: Zero, Parenting: Won

8 June 2012

Well, parenting certainly won that round today. I am near my wits end trying to nourish my son. The only thing he consumes without hesitation is milk, yogurt, bread, and bananas. If I try to mix bananas into his yogurt, forget about it. He will try a bite of other foods and will immediately spit it out. I did get him to each some pureed sweet potatoes, so that was a success. I think it's a texture issue with him. But it's driving me insane! I started introducing gummy vitamins so that I could at least feel good about making sure he got them in another source, but every time I give him the vitamins he asks for fruit snacks. I'm not worried that he isn't healthy, he is quite the little muscle man. Perhaps I'm overcomplicating the matter; I know what foods I like and the ones I don't and I could literally eat cereal every morning for breakfast because it's quick and easy and F is my kid after all. Maybe he's just trying to tell me in his limited vocabulary that a variety of foods isn't for him (at least not yet). I doubt I'll have a long respite during F's nap time since he's so incredibly stubborn that all he ate was a piece of bread for lunch. I offered him one teddy graham for each bite of parfait he ate, but this little stinker wouldn't even dane to try it.

~Lady Jane

Goldberg Nugget #6

Give me your morning

23 May 2012

I drifted in and out of consciousness as I heard the syncopation of the rain emanating from my iPod dock, awake just long enough to reach the snooze button for another glorious nine minutes of "sleep". As I tried to hold on to slumber, it slipped further and further away as I heard my husband cross the floor from the bathroom to his closet, turning the fan on a faster setting as he passed. "Drying off," I thought. I guess the rain was a little of the shower head too. I pulled the pillow sham from between my legs and propped myself against it as I checked on the boy from the video monitor. My drowsy hand searched for my glasses on the nightstand and discovered them exactly where I had left them the night before.

Even though the boy was mostly awake singing to himself, I figured I would have time to relieve myself and dress for the day. I softly closed my bedroom door behind me so as not to make a sound in the hope that I could take care of preparing the morning bottle. I trudged into the kitchen, flipping on the middle switch from the hallway. The light from the refrigerator brightened the kitchen by another 40 watts. I plucked the 8 ounce bottle from the shelf on the door, the gallon jug and proceeded to the microwave. Falling like a silk scarf, the white liquid gathered itself to the highest tick mark on the side of the bottle. I watched the bottle dance by itself as it heated in the microwave (or as I affectionately refer, a godsend). One last check on the boy on the monitor as I walk down the hall. I listen to the knob screech in excitement, echoing the happy shrills from my little man.

(6-7 months old)

Wishful Thinking

I wish...

I had the motivation to actually adapt a book into a screenplay and become the next Diablo Cody, although I realize the story of Juno was of her own imagination.

everyone could have what they needed and a few of the things that they desperately want.

I knew what the next five years would bring. 

I could just learn how to appreciate myself instead of constantly finding faults.

sensorineural hearing loss wasn't a part of my vocabulary.

I knew how to let go.

What do you wish for?

~Lady Jane

My Son

As Mother's Day approaches I reflect on the little miracle that made me a mom. I love my little boy and I thank Heaven that he came to me! Ever since he was born I felt like I was taking on a huge challenge to raise one amazing little man. Having received my Bachelors degree in teaching before F was born, I thought of all the wonderful things I could teach him as he grew. Little did I know, he has taught me more than I ever thought possible.

Minutes old

Days old

Month old

Six months old

He has taught me to love. I love him beyond description. When I found out that I was pregnant, people asked me "If you could choose the gender, what would you have?" Every time I replied, "Boy!" I don't know why even but as soon as we found out that little F was going to join our family, I felt blessed. I was going to raise a son of God and teach him how to be a good man like his daddy.

He has taught me to reflect. Because of him, I have appreciated the sound of a bird chirping and leaves blowing in the wind and the rain. All these things are new to this little person and he is helping me remember these simple pleasures.

He has taught me to be patient. There are those days, that every parent has, where fuses are short but they lengthen over time because my son reminds me what is really important. So what if we're a little late for an appointment somewhere because he wanted to learn how to climb into his car seat? So what if we don't make it to the grocery store today if we get to nurture our relationship by playing cars? 

He has taught me to be consistent. Children, especially mine like structure and consistency, once we created a bedtime routine, within days he was reminding us what came next. I have learned that when I give him a heads up on what's coming next, he transitions to the next activity (or naptime) almost seamlessly. 

One Year!

Eighteen months

Two years!

I am grateful beyond words (but I'll try to find them) that I have been with my little man for two years! Four weeks after his birth I got a blood clot in my leg. I didn't realize how life threatening a blood clot was at the time. I just kept thinking about how much I missed my sweet husband and my precious newborn. I wanted to get out of that hospital bed and go home to be with my family. I couldn't even feel like I was with him by sending home breast milk. I was on a cocktail of different medications and painkillers throughout my stay at the hospital that I couldn't even pump. That alone was disheartening. After my thrombectomy (blood clot removal) procedure I recuperated at my parents' house. I couldn't walk without the assistance of a walker, so midnight feedings were taken over by the hubs or my mother. I have been a mother two years now and plan on being one forever! I have enjoyed it too much.

And most importantly, I owe my life to my mother! Even after having the perfect Brady Bunch family, she didn't feel like her family was complete until I came along (that sounds really egocentric). What I'm trying to say is, "Thanks mom, for wanting me!"

June 2007

I hope you mothers out there enjoy your day!

~ Lady Jane

Deadlines

I missed my own deadline again! Check back next week for my new post. It's been a crazy week!

~ Lady Jane

Another Week Down

I feel that the only thing keeping me from going insane is this special little blog where I can come to voice my frustrations, elations and all in between.

I just called a couple doctors' offices to postpone appointments so as to save as much money as possible for the purchasing of our very first home! Did I tell you that? That the hubs and I are working on getting our first home? It's a nerve-wracking process to say the least and yet I'm surprisingly calm about it. We took another walk-through on Tuesday and I feel even more excited and correct that this is the right house for us. I just pray that there are very few hiccups as possible. HUD is infamous for hiccuping, A LOT! However, this process has been moving along at a steady pace, a VERY good sign.

I'm a "sign" person. I look for extraordinary occurrences amongst the mundane. So while we were at the house, I was carrying F's diaper bag out to the car when I noticed a potential neighbor a couple doors down, he said hello and asked if we were moving in. I excitedly called back to him, "We're hoping!" He then replied something to the effect of if we moved in that they would have to bring us over some cookies. He seemed pleased that somebody might be moving in. I'm not sure how long the house has been vacant, but I know I'd be pleased to have someone move in that would take care of the house. That was a sign; a little bit of an extraordinary exchange amongst potential neighbors that I don't believe happens as much in a garage community.

One of the nice things about this property is how boring it is, so ANY thing we do to it, will be an improvement! All that's left is the appraisal and inspection. I'm biting my nails here and I NEVER do that! I pride myself on having long, pretty nails even though I am a pianist. Call me crazy, but I like the click of my nails against the keys, the same way a guitarists fingers slide on the fret like a screeching nylon stocking.

And F wants to know...

Have you read any good books for kids, about kids lately?

Have a happy day!

And I Thought I Was Losing Brain Cells Before

A couple of months ago, I mentioned in my family blog that I felt like I had nothing to do, that I was losing my brain cells from being a SAHM. I couldn't have been more wrong! I have so much on my calendar that I'm a living episode of "Hoarders: Buried Alive!" I don't even have time to expedite a book club that my sister and I started at the beginning of the year. I don't think it helped any that our members were less than enthusiastic about reading different kinds of literature. (Ex. one doesn't want to read series [there goes Hunger Games and Harry Potter], another doesn't want to read books she had to read in high school [so long classics and thought-provoking works], another is so defensive that anything religious is inflammatory. Makes for interesting group of contributors and books to choose from doesn't it? I'm afraid I'll be calling my sister and telling her we're gonna have to wait until after May to start up again. Yeah, procrastinators!!!

And it's only going to get worse in the next few weeks. I mentioned in my last post, the dance rehearsals for the Centennial, but when I have the next four Saturdays accounted for it makes me wish I never said I liked having a busy schedule. I wish I was ten again. Where Saturday afternoons were perfect to catch movies from the 80s and the films no one bothered to buy. I am the youngest of seven so by the time I was ten, two sisters were married with a kid each, and one was living away from home and the other three were teenagers.

Back to the present: I'm so nervous that I'm going to forget something so important that I'm constantly turning on my smartphone, pulling up the calendar just to make sure I don't skip over any minute detail. Has that ever happened to you? When your life is so scheduled down to the minute that you just wish you could take a 100 years nap like Rip VanWinkle? Although, that brings up an interesting observation. I would miss out on all the events that got me to the final destination.

Have you ever seen "Click" an Adam Sandler movie that came out in 2006?

I really appreciated the moral of the story; as much as we would like to fast forward all the mundane parts of our lives, we miss out on the journey. A wise man counseled me before I got married to the hubs, "Live in the now, because you'll miss out on the present if you're constantly thinking about what the future holds." I have really tried to put that counsel into my life especially as a mother. Little F will grow up all too soon, so I try to cherish every stage he reaches instead of constantly dwelling on the times when he'll be more independent and less reliant on me.

Song for a Fifth Child, by Ruth Hamilton, 1958

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

My eyes are welling with tears just thinking about my little man that recently turned two! I think most mothers would agree that their child/children are the best. I have a good'un! He's incredibly thoughtful and polite. His smile takes over his whole face, his eyes squish to near non-existence, his teeth shine brightly from his half-moon mouth.

Did I do him justice? As much as I like to pride myself on being a good writer, I always worry that my point won't convey to the reader. The picture above satisfies the visual learner in me.

And I just realized that my writing blog is becoming less and less about writing and/or becoming a good writer as my personal life creeps in more and more. Who knows, I may just combine my two passions: writing and becoming a better wife and mother into this nifty little blog.

Until then,

just keep writing, just keep writing.

Nearly There

The time is soon approaching where I don't have a million things on my plate. I thought after this coming Saturday I would be a little more free with my time. Alas, twas not meant to be. I forgot that I was helping teach a dance to 12-13 year old girls for Arizona's Centennial. So after April 21st, I will truly have nothing on my plate, other than all the mom juggling I'm already doing.

The wedding for my sister in-law that I threw the bridal shower for went splendidly. The weather was cooperative, cloudy and slightly breezy with a nice chill, or in other words: sweat-ah weath-ah! Arizona has been in early menopause for the last few months. We definitely had an Indian Summer in September (wondering when the summer would end!) and just last week I was sporting skirts and flip flops in March. It just can't make up its mind!

Next on the agenda is two little low-key get togethers in honor of F's birthday with a Toy Story theme. We already had a little celebration with the grandparents and an aunt and uncle on hubby's side. I can't believe he's going to be two! In my mind he's two going on ten! He is such a little mimicker at the moment and tries so hard to enunciate the words he hears and he's such a smarty-pants (no really, he is, I'm not just saying because I'm his mother. He really is smart!) However, there are some words I wish he wouldn't repeat. I don't swear, but I'd rather not hear, "Oh, crap!" coming out of his mouth. Don't get me wrong, it is so incredibly cute and laughter-inducing but a word like bummer seems slightly more acceptable to the most number of people. Here's to my little man who decided to grow up!

Already a Slacker

I've only had this blog for how many weeks now, and I've already missed a deadline?!?! I blame it on everybody else but me. Other people I know have been busy and planning parties and weddings but then I thought, "Oh yeah! I was busy planning a bridal shower for my husband's sister, so there!" I had a good reason. That was a couple of weeks ago now and I really haven't had anything pressing on my plate and nap times haven't been used as efficiently. I knew that I was going to be busy a couple of weeks ago so that's why I got prepared, but it's already almost five in the evening (my time) and I'm just now starting to post!

A couple of things about the bridal shower, at least I didn't have to plan it all myself and I had the help of my incredibly talented SIL to help me decorate the concessions table in the theme of "Night at the Movies." I decided to go with this theme because the bride-to-be worked at a movie theater when she was in high school. I figured it would be a fun theme for her. It turned out darling, if I do say so myself. Hopefully I will get pictures posted soon, I can't seem to figure that out right now, what with buying a new camera and hubby and I trying to figure out using one laptop. Turns out that my user can't access our shared pictures, weird.

As guests came in, they wrote down a word of advice for the happy couple on ticket stubs

The concessions table

No movie theme is complete without Red Vines!

Boston Baked Beans and Tropical Lemon Heads

Whoppers, Mike&Ike's, Reese's Pieces

Popcorn!

My sister in-law (the bride to be) and me!

Well, whaddaya know?! Turns out I figured out how to get the pictures I wanted to post all by myself. I'm so glad that she liked the theme and that she had some good friends turn up to support her.

Next up on my social calendar, planning a little shindig for F's second birthday! We'll be doing a Toy Story theme, seems appropriate since F is completely obsessed with the franchise. My hubby is even talking about purchasing the Hawaiian Vacation short film just to add some variety to our collection. To be honest, I love that about hubby, he's willing to put off his own happiness for his son's. I'm sure there are more awesome things that he would want to spend money on.

In case you were wondering: I was able to pull off this theme due to the fact that my sister threw a baby shower for me using popcorn as the jumping off point. The blue/teal framed chalkboard as well as the other one and a movie themed canvas was borrowed as were the plates, popcorn machine and glassware for the service of Red Vines and Pretzels. I got the idea of the red and white striped tablecloth from my baby shower that I recreated. We just used the empty candy boxes as decor to make the table look fuller and had a couple of candy bar prizes (Skor, Whatchamacallit, and Mr. Goodbar) for a guessing game. We had a mad-lib for the bride and groom since the bride is a fan. The center pieces were already assembled from my baby shower so we just covered up the reference to pregnancy and added our own catch phrase, Popping with Joy! Since my mother in-law and I split the cost of stamps, the bridal shower only cost me $50 dollars (happened to be my budget)! The key to keeping functions inexpensive-BORROW, BORROW, BORROW and ask for help!

Ode to a Macbook/Writer's Unblocked!

I love to write. I have always loved to write. I'm not sure why or when this particular fancy first made its appearance, but I love that I can sit down at my computer and just jot down any thought that comes to me. I remember a time, not long after my grandmother passed away that I decided to write about all the things I could remember about her. It started with the most recent, the time of her death. I was fortunate enough to be with her and my mother during her passing. That experience alone has been one of the most spiritual I've ever had. Like Goldberg said, you make sense of your life when you write. I think that's what I love about writing; I can make sense of my life and who I am in my own eyes, not through the eyes of others.

"Writing is physical and is affected by the equipment you use." ~ Natalie Goldberg

This is the equipment I use. I've had it since my first semester at ASU, five years ago this fall. Has it really been that long? We've worked on many projects together, written dozens of papers on Shakespeare, films, teaching methods, and books. But my favorite thing to do with my Macbook is write about nothings, somethings, whatever might pop into my head, conscious or subconscious.

I think I type as fast as I think, that's why I prefer using my computer than a notebook and pen. I liked using a notebook and pen when I was in school and had to carry a book bag, but now that I'm a SAHM, I much prefer this method during nap time. I do agree that "Handwriting is more connected to the movement of the heart" but I feel just as connected to this medium as I do to writing. However the key to all this searching and making sense of your life is experimentation.

Just keep writing, just keep writing...

Goldberg suggests:

1. Keep your hand moving

2. Don't cross out (This tip is especially hard for me as I am in editor mode often. One of my favorite pastimes is looking for errors in books I'm reading, or cereal boxes, pretty much anything printed.)

3. Don't worry about spelling (Um, sorry. I pride myself on being an excellent speller.)

4. Lose control

5. Don't think. Don't get logical

6. Go for the jugular (This is the scary stuff deep down inside that you don't want to admit to yourself that you think or have thought about. This is also the stuff that I will never show anyone, EVER!)

Just keep writing, just keep writing...