Potty Training

...that's why I've been M.I.A.


This is probably the last post you'd expect from me. Who am I kidding, I'm a mom and never pretended this blog to be anything but a sound stage for all my thoughts, maternal and otherwise.

I don't know if it was talking with other moms or what, but last Monday, I decided to start potty training the boy for real! I think the reason why I waited so long (the boy turned 3 in March) was because I wasn't ready yet. So here are some things I learned while potty training my boy.

1. The parent needs to be more ready than the kid (in a manner of speaking). I think I had to come to the realization that I would have messes to clean or give up making trips longer than an hour out of the house to the store.

2. If you've got the resource of your parent or a friend who's had more than 3 kids to get advice from, DO IT! As I've mentioned before, I'm the youngest of seven, so my mom has probably seen every scenario when it came to potty training.

3. Praise is very important!

4. Find out what makes your child happy. Whether it's treats, stickers, little trinkets (no need to go overboard) something that will make the experience of using the potty a more enjoyable experience.

All of this advice could easily be found in any parenting magazine, but I thought it was funny when my friend asked what medium I was using to potty train and all I said was, "Mom." This lady I call mom has been a huge lifesaver. I can't imagine trying to do this without her sage wisdom; after all the kids she's had, I think she deserves the credit.

Adaptations

I figured that since the boy is occupied with toys and his beloved cartoon characters I would take a minute and express my excitement for a movie that has long been striving to appear on the silver screen: Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. My husband loved the book as a kid, he says it has something to do with validation of being a genius kid. *Cough* Anyway, I read the book a few summers ago and really enjoyed it.

As far as I know, Card has wanted Ender's Game on the big screen for so long that Haley Joel Osment was considered for the role of Ender.

That's out of the question now. He could have been perfect! But imagine all of the special effects that could be done NOW! 

According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ender's_Game_(film) the kid from Hugo (Asa Butterfield) will be playing the role of Ender. I'm so excited to read who is playing what part, that I want to read the book all over again. Guess that means I've accepted the fact that my family won't be moving anytime soon so I better get to unpacking our books.

I know what you must be thinking, aren't I a reading enthusiast? Why would I pack my books away first?

What book would you like see turned into a movie? Perish the thought, but I think some books would have been better watched than read. Like any of the boring books that I had to read in high school and they were all about boys! What's up with that?!

In case you are a little like me and have dreamed about writing your own screenplay, I found a couple of sites that could come in handy.
http://www.writersstore.com/how-to-write-a-screenplay-a-guide-to-scriptwriting
http://www.simplyscripts.com/

Happy writing!

~Lady Jane

A Lot Can Change in a Matter of Hours

Have you been enjoying the roller coaster ride as much as we have? Like I said before, I should have learned my lesson seven years ago to never work with HUD. They weren't willing to negotiate the price or allow us to get another appraisal completed. Just a bunch of back and forth, "We sent it to you," "Well we didn't get it" so we walked away. It certainly wasn't worth the headache and motion-sickness anymore.

As much as I liked the layout of the house, it was definitely built in the 90s; weird niches for giant televisions gone extinct, outdated floor plans and not enough storage. The one thing that I will miss, is the backyard. I loved that backyard! I could imagine little F playing on his newly acquired plastic jungle gym/slide and walking in and out of the playhouse, while I happily watched him, washing dishes at the kitchen sink. There is another house out there for us, that will be the right one. I have to stay positive and motivated because there is no way I'm staying in this rental until I'm 30! Not gonna happen!

We'll keep looking (I've already found a couple strong contenders) and make plans to go look at some more. But past me has to convince future me not to get too excited about anything until I've weighed all the options. Who knew that making a Pro/Con list would help? I'm a believer!

Third Time Wasn't The Charm

Looks like we'll be putting the home buying process to rest for the foreseeable future. I'm really glad that I haven't told a lot of people about this considering that we were within days of a 30 day closing date and we had to walk away. I should have learned my lesson back in 2005; never, ever try and buy a house from HUD if you're a family. Maybe an investor can come up with $14K cash to bring to the table if he bid too high and the house's worth is too low, but I've never had $14K in my life! That's essentially what happened. HUD does not negotiate and the appraisal company is crap; using outdated and irrelevant information for the comps of other homes in the same neighborhood.

I wish I could verbally lash the appraiser who single-handedly screwed up our chances of purchasing this home. I am beyond livid. All the stress that we've been dealing with that poor F has felt the effects of were for nothing? We were supposed to hear back from our lender on 4/25 if the appraisal management company overlooked the shoddy job the appraiser had done, but we found out on that day, that nothing had been done! So the week that we were sitting on pins and needles waiting for an updated appraisal of the house, was AGAIN for nothing? I'm so tempted to get rid of everyone that has been involved in this process with us, our realtor, our lender. If I were our lender working with a terrible appraisal management company, I'd tell my superiors.

And that was what I was going to say last week about the house. Here's what I'm saying this week about the house: There's a chance we may still be moving in the next few weeks. I know! I didn't think it was possible either. My realtor was fuming at the prospect that the house would simply go back on the market, somebody else would bid, work with a completely different appraisal company and get the house, that he and our lender hatched a plan to pull their money together to get a third appraisal done on the home! Hubby and I would still have to cover the cost of turning on the utilities for the appraisal, but we're willing to risk $100 bucks if it means we might get the house. We weren't so sure to gamble $500, there are other homes out there. Granted, not as many in a good market, but there are others. The nice part about all of this is, if it doesn't go through, we were already in a position to walk away, however the confidence that our realtor has about the home's worth is enough for me.

I still feel the same about the appraiser and the first appraisal process. Just so we're all clear.

Looks like taking my own advice was harder than I had anticipated. Would you be able to stay positive? It's been pretty difficult.

~ Lady Jane

P.S. I hope your last few weeks have been a lot happier and less dramatic/emotional than mine. I will be so glad when all of this is over!

Composting

No, Goldberg didn't suddenly become fascinated with gardening. She's talking about all of our experiences and senses sifting through our subconscious until they become rich. She talks about how it's difficult to write about being in love whilst being in the middle of the experience, same goes for trying to write about a place you've never been or lived in for very long. She quotes about Hemingway, "Maybe away from Paris I could write about Paris as in Paris I could write about Michigan. I did not know it was too early for that because I did not know Paris well enough."

I know exactly what she is illustrating. I am writing a book. I wouldn't say it's great or even meaningful in any regard, but it's a feel-good, girl-meets-boy-girl-falls-for-boy-girl-and-boy-get-married kind of tale. I set my little story in San Luis Obispo, CA. I have been there (once) but I don't know it well enough to describe with great detail, the surroundings. I can make pretty good guesses and I do have the expertise of my husband who grew up on the central coast. So I'm not without resources. But it is difficult.

That's what she means by composting, immersing ourselves in our experiences until they become wholly part of us.

"Continue to turn over and over the organic details of your life until some of them fall through the garbage of discursive thoughts to the solid ground of black soil."

Even her analogies are incredibly well written!

Ode to a Macbook/Writer's Unblocked!

I love to write. I have always loved to write. I'm not sure why or when this particular fancy first made its appearance, but I love that I can sit down at my computer and just jot down any thought that comes to me. I remember a time, not long after my grandmother passed away that I decided to write about all the things I could remember about her. It started with the most recent, the time of her death. I was fortunate enough to be with her and my mother during her passing. That experience alone has been one of the most spiritual I've ever had. Like Goldberg said, you make sense of your life when you write. I think that's what I love about writing; I can make sense of my life and who I am in my own eyes, not through the eyes of others.

"Writing is physical and is affected by the equipment you use." ~ Natalie Goldberg

This is the equipment I use. I've had it since my first semester at ASU, five years ago this fall. Has it really been that long? We've worked on many projects together, written dozens of papers on Shakespeare, films, teaching methods, and books. But my favorite thing to do with my Macbook is write about nothings, somethings, whatever might pop into my head, conscious or subconscious.

I think I type as fast as I think, that's why I prefer using my computer than a notebook and pen. I liked using a notebook and pen when I was in school and had to carry a book bag, but now that I'm a SAHM, I much prefer this method during nap time. I do agree that "Handwriting is more connected to the movement of the heart" but I feel just as connected to this medium as I do to writing. However the key to all this searching and making sense of your life is experimentation.

Just keep writing, just keep writing...

Goldberg suggests:

1. Keep your hand moving

2. Don't cross out (This tip is especially hard for me as I am in editor mode often. One of my favorite pastimes is looking for errors in books I'm reading, or cereal boxes, pretty much anything printed.)

3. Don't worry about spelling (Um, sorry. I pride myself on being an excellent speller.)

4. Lose control

5. Don't think. Don't get logical

6. Go for the jugular (This is the scary stuff deep down inside that you don't want to admit to yourself that you think or have thought about. This is also the stuff that I will never show anyone, EVER!)

Just keep writing, just keep writing...

Working Through the Book

Now that I feel that I have thoroughly exhaled with my previous posts I can now begin my journey of working through the book, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within. In the introduction Goldberg explains ultimately what her book is about as well as what it might help the reader to accomplish. Two of my favorite lines are, "This book is about writing. It is also about using writing as your practice, as a way to help you penetrate your life and become sane." Who wouldn't want that? And, "To do writing practice means to deal ultimately with your whole life." Sounds pretty profound right? Doesn't have to be. The exhilarating aspect of writing for me is that I can confront my fears, disillusions, fantasies, regrets, aspirations and many more parts of my life that need a little tweaking or fresh perspective.

I love music and so I'm often reminded while I write, a song that also conveys my thoughts. In reference to perspective a line from "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen". I can't believe how in one song there are so many good mantras to live by. If only all songs could be that inspiring. "Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal-wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth."

How many times have we given or gotten advice? I remember a story about my Papa and advice. He said something to the effect of, "When somebody gives you advice. Just nod your head and do as you please." This sounds completely contradictory to what I just copied from that song, but in reflecting about what my Papa said, sometimes your gut is your best advice.