Profession Confession

Sometimes I watch James Lipton's "Inside the Actors Studio". I'm not going to lie, sometimes I wish I was in the audience when he's interviewed certain people (none of them come to mind right now), heck sometimes I wish I was the one being interviewed, excerpts of my work displayed on the giant screen. But the one question he always asks that gets me thinking is, "What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?" In another life I wanted to be a prima ballerina. I can dance, and I learn fast (at least I think I do). I think the desire manifested itself when my cousins took ballet. I was beyond jealous. And it manifested itself again in high school when I was posed with the task of choosing a Phys Ed credit (traditional P.E. or dance). The choice was a no-brainer. I wasn't the most coordinated gal so dance seemed to be the least embarrassing of the two options in front of me at the time. It's amazing how quickly a girl can feel graceful with a short ballet unit.

I just finished watching a documentary on Russian prima ballerinas called "Ballerina" (I found it on Netflix). * GULP * If I was an aspiring Russian ballerina I would have been kicked out at twelve. Ballet choreographers don't like hourglass figures, long and lean is their motto. Thus the ever-constant dreaming of having the right body type for it. I wonder if those ballerinas ever wished to have a fuller figure?

So, what profession would you like to attempt?

~Lady Jane

I Knew I Could Do It

I love it when I figure things out. Since having F I've felt like, at times, my brain doesn't operate at 100% like it used to. For the longest time I couldn't update my pages (have you even looked at those? Yes, those tabs at the top of the page for the curious eye) and it was driving me nuts! Do you want to know the problem, I had been able to post under another email login but I couldn't really change anything about my blog (especially the stuff that I wanted to change). I figured out I needed to name my other login an admin too. * SIGH *  That feels so much better!

But on another note, I feel like my life is going to become very stressful in the very near future. I'm going to have to learn how to really prioritize my time. I recently accepted an offer to be a vocal coach for a performing arts group. Yes, I sing too.

A couple of pros:
I'm getting paid!
It's in the afternoon so it shouldn't interfere too much with the home life
I'll be improving on my skills as a singer as well as my teaching skills
I get to do something fun

And the cons:
I have to hire a babysitter for the time I start until hubs gets home
My time won't always be my own
I'll miss F's bedtime twice a week

So now I have the wonderful task of trying to figure out how to do the mom thing, wife thing, and career woman thing.

Hopefully by the semester's end I will be saying...I knew I could do it.

~Lady Jane

And I Thought I Was Losing Brain Cells Before

A couple of months ago, I mentioned in my family blog that I felt like I had nothing to do, that I was losing my brain cells from being a SAHM. I couldn't have been more wrong! I have so much on my calendar that I'm a living episode of "Hoarders: Buried Alive!" I don't even have time to expedite a book club that my sister and I started at the beginning of the year. I don't think it helped any that our members were less than enthusiastic about reading different kinds of literature. (Ex. one doesn't want to read series [there goes Hunger Games and Harry Potter], another doesn't want to read books she had to read in high school [so long classics and thought-provoking works], another is so defensive that anything religious is inflammatory. Makes for interesting group of contributors and books to choose from doesn't it? I'm afraid I'll be calling my sister and telling her we're gonna have to wait until after May to start up again. Yeah, procrastinators!!!

And it's only going to get worse in the next few weeks. I mentioned in my last post, the dance rehearsals for the Centennial, but when I have the next four Saturdays accounted for it makes me wish I never said I liked having a busy schedule. I wish I was ten again. Where Saturday afternoons were perfect to catch movies from the 80s and the films no one bothered to buy. I am the youngest of seven so by the time I was ten, two sisters were married with a kid each, and one was living away from home and the other three were teenagers.

Back to the present: I'm so nervous that I'm going to forget something so important that I'm constantly turning on my smartphone, pulling up the calendar just to make sure I don't skip over any minute detail. Has that ever happened to you? When your life is so scheduled down to the minute that you just wish you could take a 100 years nap like Rip VanWinkle? Although, that brings up an interesting observation. I would miss out on all the events that got me to the final destination.

Have you ever seen "Click" an Adam Sandler movie that came out in 2006?

I really appreciated the moral of the story; as much as we would like to fast forward all the mundane parts of our lives, we miss out on the journey. A wise man counseled me before I got married to the hubs, "Live in the now, because you'll miss out on the present if you're constantly thinking about what the future holds." I have really tried to put that counsel into my life especially as a mother. Little F will grow up all too soon, so I try to cherish every stage he reaches instead of constantly dwelling on the times when he'll be more independent and less reliant on me.

Song for a Fifth Child, by Ruth Hamilton, 1958

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
and out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
but I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

My eyes are welling with tears just thinking about my little man that recently turned two! I think most mothers would agree that their child/children are the best. I have a good'un! He's incredibly thoughtful and polite. His smile takes over his whole face, his eyes squish to near non-existence, his teeth shine brightly from his half-moon mouth.

Did I do him justice? As much as I like to pride myself on being a good writer, I always worry that my point won't convey to the reader. The picture above satisfies the visual learner in me.

And I just realized that my writing blog is becoming less and less about writing and/or becoming a good writer as my personal life creeps in more and more. Who knows, I may just combine my two passions: writing and becoming a better wife and mother into this nifty little blog.

Until then,

just keep writing, just keep writing.

Nearly There

The time is soon approaching where I don't have a million things on my plate. I thought after this coming Saturday I would be a little more free with my time. Alas, twas not meant to be. I forgot that I was helping teach a dance to 12-13 year old girls for Arizona's Centennial. So after April 21st, I will truly have nothing on my plate, other than all the mom juggling I'm already doing.

The wedding for my sister in-law that I threw the bridal shower for went splendidly. The weather was cooperative, cloudy and slightly breezy with a nice chill, or in other words: sweat-ah weath-ah! Arizona has been in early menopause for the last few months. We definitely had an Indian Summer in September (wondering when the summer would end!) and just last week I was sporting skirts and flip flops in March. It just can't make up its mind!

Next on the agenda is two little low-key get togethers in honor of F's birthday with a Toy Story theme. We already had a little celebration with the grandparents and an aunt and uncle on hubby's side. I can't believe he's going to be two! In my mind he's two going on ten! He is such a little mimicker at the moment and tries so hard to enunciate the words he hears and he's such a smarty-pants (no really, he is, I'm not just saying because I'm his mother. He really is smart!) However, there are some words I wish he wouldn't repeat. I don't swear, but I'd rather not hear, "Oh, crap!" coming out of his mouth. Don't get me wrong, it is so incredibly cute and laughter-inducing but a word like bummer seems slightly more acceptable to the most number of people. Here's to my little man who decided to grow up!