Nerdy Girls

Have you seen the movie Wreck-It Ralph? Well, if you haven't you have to. I've seen it about a bazillion times thanks to the boy. I don't know what Disney's deal is but every nerdy girl is a blond, blue-eyed, glasses-clad girl. Me.

I've had glasses since I was two. I couldn't see the fingers on my hand unless they were inches from my face. My parents tell me that I was legally blind. Since the tender age of 14 I have been wearing contact lenses.

Here are some comparison shots:

(Who doesn't love that late 80s hair?)

Do you recognize this little thing? She makes an appearance on Disney's A Goofy Movie when they arrive at a possum theme park. My sarcastic uncle lovingly compared me to her when I was in kindergarten after he saw the film. Nice.

Here's the girl from Wreck-It Ralph. As soon as I saw her, I thought, "Disney?! What the heck?!"

It isn't just me right?


~Lady Jane

Literary

One of my favorite movies is Stranger Than Fiction. It is perhaps the most unique film to grace the silver screen in decades.

I love that: Will Ferrell is an understated funny, Dustin Hoffman exudes literature professor and eludes to his Rain Man days with his bombarding questions about numbers and figures, Emma Thompson is so obsessed with how to kill Harold Crick that she flirts with suicidal psychopathy.

There are too many scenes to name that are memorable. However, I'll do my best to highlight a few.

"Well Harold, I'm sad to admit that there is nothing literary about you." Prof. Jules Hilbert (Hoffman)

I cry a little inside every time I hear that. My whole life is about writing and making connections about life through the films I watch. Shakespeare even believed that "all the world's a stage..." so when I stop to ponder about my life I wonder "Am I the star of my own show?"

Another favorite film (for different reasons) broaches this very topic in a dialogue between two characters, The Holiday.

It is this scene that Kate Winslet's character receives sage advice from a retired Hollywood film writer that she is not acting like the heroine of her own life. "Iris, in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are the leading lady, but for some reason you're behaving like the best friend." She realizes that she is merely acting upon outward stimulus, not choosing what to do before a situation presents itself.

I have found too often that I let others determine my role in this life. When I don't show up wearing the same clothes as everyone else, that's not weakness on my part, that's courage to be myself, to go against the norm, to swim upstream, etc. etc.

Now that I have pummeled that tangent to death, here's another great quote from Stranger than Fiction:
"Did you just say 'little did he know?'`I've written books on little did he know. I've taught courses on little did he know. I once taught a seminar all about little did he know. Little did he know. That means there's something he doesn't know, which means there's something you don't know, did you know that?"  - Prof. Jules Hilbert

Even though Professor Hilbert is fiction, I'm jealous of his knowledge of third person omniscient. I've been to my share of English Teacher conferences and have thoroughly enjoyed myself, call me a nerd. Too late, I already did. I wish I could go every year. There are so many interesting, unique, thoughtful, inventive ideas on how to teach English to the digital teenager.

So my goal is to try to be more literary. Find moments in my life as a SAHM to explore the literary side. I guess that means, back to the book.

Until next time!



~Lady Jane

Cultural

I should probably do some research before I start complaining, but I hate to research, and I'm an English major (a very complex individual)... Anyway, I would really like it if someone did a research paper on which cultures are the more openly exuberant.

I've met my share of a few cultures, okay I'm lying, most of them have been from watching TV. But I did meet a few rowdy Italians in London on a trip with the hubs back in the day and boy howdy were they loud and proud of it.

So what I'd like to know is if my in-laws' reserved nature is cultural because it's all foreign to me.

Maybe it's the feisty Irish, the boisterous Mexican, the passionate French in me that overpowers the reserved English nature. (I've got quite the pedigree) On a side note, not joking my grandmother's mother was Mexican so that makes me...drum roll please an 1/8 Mexican. Although to look at me no one would consider it.

But I digress.

So who wants to take on that project? Or find the research for me?


~Lady Jane

Complexity is My Middle Name

I decided it was about time to get back to my original purpose for this blog and considering all of the events going on in my life that I cannot change, becoming a better writer is one thing I have control over.

"Where do you come from, who are you, what makes you?" One of the best questions posed by Goldberg to help the budding writer within.

The most obvious answer would be to expound upon my upbringing (which I have done a lot of) mention the skills/talents I have and hobbies I enjoy. BORING! So I will try and make it a little less boring.

I come from seekers and believers:

Not too long ago, I filled out a Mormon.org profile and one of the questions I answered was why I was Mormon. I think it's because my family is. It's in my blood. My 3x great grandfather was the first to become a Mormon, he sought after truth and believed. I owe him immensely for the knowledge I have because he looked for answers to his questions.

I come from music:

My grandmother is an amazing pianist! She lived next to me for nineteen years and when I say next to me I mean next to. I could get to her house through our garage. So I would often drop by and listen to her play the piano. Two of my older sisters also played the piano; music filled our house often and sometimes to the dismay of anyone in the house wanting to watch t.v.

I come from laughter:

My dad has the wackiest sense of humor, which I luckily possess a little bit of. He claims it was his mother's father that passed it down to him. I love to hear the laughter of my family and I get to hear it a lot.

I am Cowardice/Heroism/Peace/Contention/Love/Self-Loathing:

I am a complex woman. I am sometimes too afraid to confront a problem and other times, a raging bull out of the gate. I just wish I knew how to be bull when I'm a lamb. And with that cowardice and heroism, I am a blend of peace and contention. I don't like contention, avoid it at all costs and when I should be a peacemaker, I'm too afraid to mediate. I am freely giving of compliments, but not to myself, afraid of becoming narcissistic or egocentric. I'm also noticing a pattern here. Do you see it? I think my cowardly side trumps my heroic side by a long shot!

So, "where do you come from, who are you, what makes you?"

~ Lady Jane

True Colors

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, but that is certainly untrue in my case. I've had people, strangers come up to me when I was in high school and ask if I was okay. The immediate thought that sprang to mind in that scenario was, "Do you see tears running down my face?" Unfortunately for me, my everyday face, neither happy nor sad, just standing there, my face leads people to believe that something terrible just happened to me. Normally, I am a very happy person but my content face looks anything but content. Curse my down-turned eyes! It also doesn't help that my bottom lip pulls the pad of my chin too far north so that from the side I look like Alfred Hitchcock's long-lost daughter.

(I told you)

When I was a teenager I hardly ever looked at boys in the eye, afraid that they might see how transparent I was. I was afraid my eyes would betray my perpetually hushed heart. I listened to my heart, probably more than most and probably more than I should have but I couldn't let anyone else know.

Perhaps, deep inside I am a narcissistic person and that's why I'm so hard on myself, because if I let myself believe I'm a good person or I'm good at doing things then I fear I've become too much of my true self. I remember working on a writing prompt for one of my teaching methods classes. The prompt asked, "What are you an expert in?" I distinctly remember I was having a bad day so I wrote, "Nothing." I felt I was neither good nor bad at a particular skill I had learned, but certainly not an expert. Expert to me implies, exorbitant amounts of wisdom or prowess for said skill. Does anyone else ever feel this way, or am I the only one that thinks too much about what others might think? Which in turn, brings me back to the thought, I must be narcissistic then. I might as well embrace it.

What negative character flaw do you have that you wish you could either embrace or suppress?