Profession Confession

Sometimes I watch James Lipton's "Inside the Actors Studio". I'm not going to lie, sometimes I wish I was in the audience when he's interviewed certain people (none of them come to mind right now), heck sometimes I wish I was the one being interviewed, excerpts of my work displayed on the giant screen. But the one question he always asks that gets me thinking is, "What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?" In another life I wanted to be a prima ballerina. I can dance, and I learn fast (at least I think I do). I think the desire manifested itself when my cousins took ballet. I was beyond jealous. And it manifested itself again in high school when I was posed with the task of choosing a Phys Ed credit (traditional P.E. or dance). The choice was a no-brainer. I wasn't the most coordinated gal so dance seemed to be the least embarrassing of the two options in front of me at the time. It's amazing how quickly a girl can feel graceful with a short ballet unit.

I just finished watching a documentary on Russian prima ballerinas called "Ballerina" (I found it on Netflix). * GULP * If I was an aspiring Russian ballerina I would have been kicked out at twelve. Ballet choreographers don't like hourglass figures, long and lean is their motto. Thus the ever-constant dreaming of having the right body type for it. I wonder if those ballerinas ever wished to have a fuller figure?

So, what profession would you like to attempt?

~Lady Jane

I Knew I Could Do It

I love it when I figure things out. Since having F I've felt like, at times, my brain doesn't operate at 100% like it used to. For the longest time I couldn't update my pages (have you even looked at those? Yes, those tabs at the top of the page for the curious eye) and it was driving me nuts! Do you want to know the problem, I had been able to post under another email login but I couldn't really change anything about my blog (especially the stuff that I wanted to change). I figured out I needed to name my other login an admin too. * SIGH *  That feels so much better!

But on another note, I feel like my life is going to become very stressful in the very near future. I'm going to have to learn how to really prioritize my time. I recently accepted an offer to be a vocal coach for a performing arts group. Yes, I sing too.

A couple of pros:
I'm getting paid!
It's in the afternoon so it shouldn't interfere too much with the home life
I'll be improving on my skills as a singer as well as my teaching skills
I get to do something fun

And the cons:
I have to hire a babysitter for the time I start until hubs gets home
My time won't always be my own
I'll miss F's bedtime twice a week

So now I have the wonderful task of trying to figure out how to do the mom thing, wife thing, and career woman thing.

Hopefully by the semester's end I will be saying...I knew I could do it.

~Lady Jane

Lesson Learned

One of the weirdest phrases I heard in my writing class was, "creative nonfiction." What does that even mean? I was at a loss for words. I had no idea how I supposed to get creative without being false or bending the truth. Had I been a reader of Real Simple magazine when taking the class, I would have known exactly what my professor meant. In each issue they have a section called "Life Lessons". I learn the strangest, saddest, and sometimes simple things when I read that section. This is creative nonfiction. These writers just seem to know how to paint a story without brushing over the truth.

So here goes, if I were to actually submit a piece for an essay contest about understanding the meaning of love it might go something like this:

My mother always used to say that I would never understand how much she loved me until I had a child of my own. There's no way that could be true. There were so many ways that my mother showed me love: supporting my talents by attending choir concerts, always being a listening ear, staying up with me to finish that forgotten term paper, always finding time to teach me valuable life lessons as she transitioned into grandmother-hood while I was still only eight. As I grew up with a matriarch overflowing with positive words and love, I never thought it would take me until I had my first child that I would truly understand. As I groggily woke up to feed my crying baby, carefully prepared his food, happily changed his diaper or enjoyed his coos and giggles I was reminded of all the loving attention given to me by my own mother as her youngest.

Due to medical complications, I didn't get to spend an entire week with my newborn and had to leave my son in the care of my mother. She was much older now, and physically less prepared to repeat the routine of a newborn baby. I ached to be out of my hospital bed and be home with my husband and son, but I knew that my son was more than competently cared for, perhaps even more so than by a brand new mommy like me. I knew that my son would be loved and given the attention that I would have given him myself.

My mom with my son

When I was finally discharged from the hospital, I still couldn't hold my son and walk at the same time thus the nighttime responsibilities again fell to my mother. It was after I had regained strength in my leg that I profusely thanked my mom for caring for my boy. She gushed about how much she loved being up with him in the middle of the night and not being sore or too tired (like having her own seven children felt). What I imagine she was trying to say, "You won't understand how much I love you until you have a child of your own." I wouldn't have done any different had it been my grown son and his family in need of service and I an older woman in her latter years. She managed to show me how much she could love her grandson and through this selfless act, I know what unconditional love truly is.

So mom, if you happen to read this I love you for all that you have ever done and still do for me!

~Lady Jane

School Year Resolutuions

08/06/12

I journaled yesterday (actually pulled out my physical journal and started writing). I loved it. I missed it. I wish I wasn't so caught up with nothings and focused more on important things. Yes, blogging is important to me. It had been over two years since I wrote in my journal. It's amazing how much you remember when you have to fill in all the gaps. Luckily, the gaps aren't too big because I've been blogging (for the most part).

As the new school year approaches, I can't help but make resolutions. It also reminds me of my favorite scene from You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan reads her email and smiles at the prospect of a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils. * TEAR* It gets me every time.

I started a book blog with my sister and some other family members and that lasted about two months (or less) until LIFE got in the way. I'm hoping that as soon as a few more projects are completed around the house I can settle into my routine and use nap time for "me" time. I have to admit though that I love looking around the house and thinking, "I could rearrange that," or "that could use some organization" "we could definitely donate that."

So what are your school year resolutions?

~Lady Jane

Endless Possibilities

Another month has passed and my pen is a little rusty. I feel like I haven't written in ages, but I have been otherwise occupied: setting up house. As much as I looked forward to having my own home (9 years in the making) I didn't realize so many projects lay ahead of me. Thankfully, we've had in our budget the ability to hire a painter. I'd probably still be sleeping in the guest room if I was in charge of painting which would have been really awkward when my parents came to stay. At this point in time, all the rooms have a purpose and direction. The husband has his office for the tortuous week he is on-call, although the guest room isn't painted yet, I have a design scheme in mind, our bedroom makes me happy every time I walk in, the kitchen just screams vintage eclectic (I'm screaming too) the living room exudes relaxation with a pop of excitement, the loft will play a key role in creativity as well as organization (my personal office space), and the little man has a mostly functioning bedroom and dresser situation. We bought a dresser for our son at a thrift store and immediately started brainstorming on how we could re-imagine it to fit our needs. However it is still presently in the entry way until we get it painted. (So many projects!) I haven't clawed out my eyes or pulled out my hair (yet) because I haven't gone anywhere in three days. I knew that home ownership would change me. If I waited three days to go anywhere if I was still living in the rental, I would be blind and bald.

I like being home. I am grateful that I get to be a SAHM especially in this economy. I love that I get to spend time with my son and teach him what an anemone is while watching Finding Nemo. I like looking out my kitchen window and seeing the mountains. And once we get around to it, I'll like my backyard too.



Pictures soon to come!

~Lady Jane